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Growing Up and Self-Confidence

My Growing Up and Self-Confidence story :

 Everytime I change my Facebook picture I always look at the oldest picture in the album which is of me from Christmas 2008. I would have just turned 17 and was undoubtedly having a really rubbish Christmas as I had just lost my Granda during the Christmas week. If I think back to when I was 17, I feel like a different girl. I was in the the middle of my AS Levels, school was so stressful, I was learning to drive and it was very easy to feel like the world was against me for some reason or other.
self confidence 2008-2012
Top: December 2008 Bottom: July 2012

However, what strikes me the most is how much I know I used to hate myself. When I was 17, I was 2 inches shorter and 2 stone lighter. I felt like I was disgusting and worried about the smallest spot in my skin, to the point where I used to throw a tantrum when I had to go to school if I was having a “bad skin day”! However, to everyone else, I’m sure I seemed like the most confident person ever but I think I just had a bit of an attitude problem!

I now look at myself as a 20 year old (21 in 4 months!) and see a different person. I am heavier and taller but in all, a lot happier in myself. School can be such a hard place to be- you feel like everyone around you is gorgeous, thin and perfect genetic copies of each other. When I went to university it was so great to meet people of all shapes, colours, sizes and not feel like you had to conform to some form of unwritten rule of looking perfect in your school uniform! In school (up until my last year), I spent a ridiculous amount of time getting ready thinking that people were really paying attention to my hair and makeup. By the time I was in Upper 6th, I think I stopped caring. I embraced my natural mess of curly hair and wore very little makeup. I tried to focus on the fact I was there to try and get to university, not to impress someone.
I don’t know how physically different I look-I suppose only people who have known me in recent years can compare with the younger picture! I’m glad I’ve ditched the black eye-liner and found the eyebrow pencil! I know my style hasn’t changed that much- I still love clothes as much as I did back then and still refuse to wear trainers other than working out!
I have a lot of girls on Facebook who remind me of myself when I was younger and I wish I could tell them that it all really doesn’t matter but I suppose that’s such a big part of growing up! Confidence really does come with age. It just makes me laugh to see my younger self and I wish I could go back and tell her that it’s all going to be okay and to stop worrying!
This post really serves no purpose other than a good nostalgic moment for myself and to tell all the teenage girls out there that one day you WILL be able to laugh at ridiculous pictures of yourself and that everything in life in temporary-nothing is forever and you definitely get better with age!